Monday, July 13, 2009

"...i'll smile instead."

About two weeks after my first chemotherapy treatment, my hair started to come out in handfuls. This was no surprise, of course, but it was somewhat alarming all the same. I knew I didn't want to have it continue this way until I was left with wispy strips here and there on my head, so we had a family date to shave it off. Perhaps not so enjoyable as, say, a family picnic or game of wiffle ball, but I suspected that it would be much easier on the kids if they were part of the process. Having me leave with hair and come home bald would have been pretty disturbing to them. So last Saturday we made pizza and put in a movie and gave me a haircut. Greg did the cutting, Jacob took pictures, and Claire offered moral support. "If I feel like laughing, Mama, I'll smile instead."

Greg wasn't able to get all of it off with the clippers that we had, and I wasn't up for a razor, so I have about an 1/8th of an inch of salt & pepper stubble. I expect this, too, will fall out before long. Jacob seems to wish I would keep my head covered, Claire laughs at me a bit and likes to rub her hand on my head. Overall the experience hasn't been quite as traumatic as I thought it would be. But I'm not quite sure what to do with my naked head.

I'm more comfortable just leaving it uncovered than I thought I would be, at least around the house, but it's a little chilly. The pre-tied scarves I have give me a headache. I'm going to have a go at tying a scarf myself, but I suspect it's going to end up in a silken knot around my neck. I have a wig that I wear when I leave the house, but it's not really comfortable enough to lounge around in. And I do like to lounge. As luck would have it, I've been making a lot of baby hats lately. Here are two of them.

Soft cotton and pretty cute, I think. The pattern for the cabled one is
here, the flowered one is in a book you can find here. My head is an awful lot like a baby's right now, so I'm going to make myself one of these hats. I think the one with the flower. I'm not quite ready to post photos of my bald self quite yet. But maybe I'll take one of my hat when it's done.


  1. The hat with the flower is perfect! I happened to stumble upon your bog a few months ago, just shy of a "big" birthday for myself..Your blog has inspired me, made me laugh out loud and cry. Happy belated birthday from a fellow moon-lady mama...

  2. I like both of the hats very much but the flower one is definitely my favorite...very stylish...I suspect you look quite beautiful with your new hair brings out your bright blue eyes! Love...Mom

  3. Hi Patti - I love reading your blog and knowing a little bit about what you are thinking. Have you read "The Anatomy of Hope"? A friend going through ovarian cancer treatment right now has found some comfort/support from it; I have not read it and can't say for myself.

    ~love, Jen

  4. I loved Claire's comment,what a dear....Oh, how I adored that hat with the flower you made for Sophie!! Great idea to make the head shaving a family affair.Your in my thoughts often my dear.Love to you-Amy